A Broken Oven Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. More than Christmas, more than Halloween and even more than my own birthday do I enjoy Thanksgiving. It's a time of year that celebrates so many of the things I love: autumn, good food, family, friends and, of course, love. 

Since the age of 12 I have prepared Thanksgiving dinner for my family on my own. Each year the number of guests fluctuate and a few details change but one thing remains constant: the turkey is the most important part of the meal. 

In years past I have smoothed nutty, creamy black truffle butter between the skin and flesh of the turkey so that each bite is just a bit indulgent. Other times I have brought the turkey to a prurient juiciness through prolonged brining. This year I went the butter-beneath-the-skin method with a porcini mushroom, fresh herb and garlic butter melting into the turkey meat. 

This year I wanted to keep the meal simple. We only have one oven, like most people, and it's the hot spot to be (ha!) on Thanksgiving. That being said baking or roasting is a longer cooking time than direct heat stovetop cooking methods and I was more interested in flavorful and fast side dishes this year. For once my rare inclination towards laziness served me well.

6:00 a.m. -  I sprang out of bed on Thanksgiving morning with my game face on. Cheery and excited I trotted downstairs to preheat the oven and prepare the bird for the big dance. I set the oven to 325°F. I made the porcini butter, which is so good you'll want to spread it on everything from crusty bread to your own body, and applied it liberally to the space between the turkey's skin and flesh. I salted the bird's cavity and stuffed it with herbs.

7:00 a.m. - The oven's temperature has only risen to 230ºF. I'm a little perturbed but decide to wait a few more minutes.

7:15 a.m. - The oven's temperature has risen to only 270ºF. 

7:20 a.m. - The oven's temperature remains at 270ºF. At this point I realized the oven was not working. Not only do I have a turkey to roast I have brie and chive biscuits and caramelized onion stuffing to bake. I am screwed.

7:45 a.m. - After some frantic caffeine-fueled brainstorming I decide to make my own oven. We have a grill we use during the summer months to smoke and barbecue. So this is what I do: I load the turkey, pan and all, onto this grill, crank it to 325ºF and start roasting. The extreme heat causes the drippings and chicken stock to evaporate very, very quickly. So basically for the next four hours I am attentively basting this turkey as though it were an infant in a bathtub.

All in all, the turkey turned out perfectly fine considering the circumstances. I will say, though, that an oven is definitely the best way to to go. I am pretty damn proud of my ingenuity.