It's Not You, It's Me

I haven't said anything yet and already I feel like a bitch. The truth is, there is no other way for me to move forward than to do this and I'm crossing my fingers that feelings aren't hurt. 


When you hear, "It's not you, it's me," do you believe it? Is it ever true? For me today, it is. I am not looking for an easy way out; it is the truth. 


A series of surprising events, beginning last Thursday, have ushered me to the situation in which I find myself. Events I came upon like the subsequent stumbles you make after catching your toe on uneven ground as you try to regain your balance. Today I find myself crossing the street to a much different terrain.


Yesterday I realized that I have not been single and on my own in two and half years. Since August of 2008 I have been dating or involved with someone. In two and half years I have not been independent of a relationship. I have not been celibate. Not only have I not been truly single, but two of my most important dating relationships during those two and half years were maintained over a long distance, which added additional stress to those inherent in any relationship. For the past month I have been investing in a prospect and yesterday I realized, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that I need to take a break from dating completely and just focus on the care and keeping of me. There are still issues unearthed by previous relationships with which I have yet to examine. I cannot do that within the parameters of a relationship, even a fun and casual one, and most certainly not one sustained over a long distance. 


It is time to exorcise the ghosts of relationships past. 


Yet again, I already feel like a bitch, and the prospect doesn't know this is coming, yet. It really isn't him, it's me.


In other news, you should check out my tumblr