He handed me the most recent issue of The Week and I fell victim to the magazine’s cover image and headline: a caricature of a man smoking a post-coital cigarette and lying next him an iPhone whose screen showed a woman doing the same. “Is sexting infidelity?” it asked.
I held up the magazine, “Answer this question for me,” I said.
“Well, yes, it is infidelity,” he responded. “Good,” I thought. I felt relieved.
“But,” he added, “I can understand why men do it.” He went on to say that biologically men just have the urge to constant have sex.
“That’s such a cop out! Men should be able to control their impulses,” I said. “What about the woman? She never had a chance to fix the relationship, she never knew he was unhappy.”
He went on to explain that for men, cheating isn’t about having a relationship it’s the allure of something new.
Perhaps we should thank former congressional Representative Anthony Weiner for opening this controversial can of worms. He has left in his wake a pregnant heartsick wife and a nation reevaluating the definition of cheating.
The question is: is sexting cheating? Or is that a definition for each particular couple to create? Does this fall under the “it’s not cheating if it isn’t touching” safe zone? According to The Week 65% of women and 80% of men would cheat if they were guaranteed they wouldn’t get caught.
“It seems as though you think cheating is personal,” he said. “For guys, it’s purely physical.” We continued our discussion of The Week’s article later at my apartment. For me, cheating is personal. I’ve been cheated on physically and emotionally. While each dishonest act is unpleasant, physical cheating imparts an additional emotional wound. Let me warn you, it isn’t purely physical to your partner.
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